Schlocktoberfest 2K15 Day 13: Skeeter (1993)

You're going to need a bigger.... Can of Insect Repellent!
You’re going to need a bigger…. Can of Insect Repellent!

Synopsis: Toxic waste turns a stagnant pool of water into a breeding ground of terror. The result is a new species of mosquito in this unforgettable, spine-tingling, stinging experience.

It really shouldn’t be that difficult of a process to make a film which features mosquitoes the size of chiwawas appealing. The amount of subplots include truck fulls of unmarked barrels being disposed of at an abandoned mine, a pair of teenage dirt bikers going missing, a young woman returning home to bury her mother, a power hungry land developer wanting to bulldoze a small town (in which he constantly refers to it as a dump) and a sheriff’s deputy who rides around on his motorcycle with a suit coat and no undershirt whatsoever. Take the right amount of production value, a even amount of funny one liners, a competent director and some ’50s style creature feature influence Skeeter would’ve resulted in pure low budget gold yet as a wise man once said – If if and buts were candy and nuts we’d all have a Merry Christmas. Speaking of ‘the most wonderful time of the year’ you know how big chain stores start selling artificial trees, ornaments, lights and tinsel in the middle of September? It remains one of the biggest pet peeves why autumn and winter are my least two favorite seasons. Given a choice of being trapped in a infinitive time loop during mid-September through November where every store I walked into was blaring Paul McCartney’s (Simply Having A) Wonderful Christmas Time or suffering through Skeeter again I’d hope to find some sort of sick and twisted pleasure being stuck in that Holly Jolly hell on earth.

Those who grew up watching Blues Brothers or The Bob Newhart Show will be quick to spot Charles Napier (the leader of The Good Ole Boys) and William Sanderson (minus his brother Daryl and his other brother Daryl) as the only two recognizable/respectable names actually trying to put some shine on a otherwise steaming dog turd. I’m not going to lie I was trading back and forth between this and the Cubs/Cardinals game as it was the excitement of watching the Cubs get one step closer to the World Series that served as a solid counter balance for getting through 92 agonizing minutes of Skeeter. So if by chance the Cubbies fulfill the prophecy of Back The Future II and win the World Series 2015 will definitely be immortalized in more ways than one… I wonder which memory will last a lifetime though? Go Cubs!

Final Grade: F


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